OUR HISTORY

THE HISTORY OF “FREE TO BE A FAMILY”
As remembered by Marlo Thomas &
Christopher Cerf

MARLO: The Free to Be a Family project came about in very much the same way as Free to Be…You and Me did—from what was going on in my family at the time, as well as in the culture.

My sister Terre, my brother Tony and I grew up in a very traditional family. My father went off to work every day, while my mother stayed home and took care of the kids and the family's needs.

When I married in the 1980s, I began a new life as a step-mom, living with my husband and his four sons from his previous marriage. Meanwhile, my sister was divorced and living as a single mom, raising her son and daughter on her own, while my brother was living in a traditional marriage. Like my dad, Tony went off to work every day as a TV producer while his wife stayed home, cared for their three daughters and took charge of the family life.

Although all of our families looked completely different, they were all loving and real and entirely whole. So with Free to Be a Family, I wanted to help redefine what our vision of a "real" family was, for kids’ sake.

So many children live in family arrangements that don’t fit the “traditional” mold. Maybe only one parent lives in the home, or just grandparents. Or maybe the parents have created blended families, or they’ve adopted children from other lands. No matter what the configuration, the children of these families all need to be reassured that, despite their differences in appearance, they are all real families.

Looking back at the book today, obviously what’s missing are families with two moms and two dads. Back then, discriminatory laws did not permit gay couples to marry and adopt children. In any book that would be done today, of course, these families would be included.

One of the most important ideas I wanted to dispel with the book was the notion that there is such a thing as a "broken" family. A family is a place that you come home to, where people love you and support you and miss you and can’t wait to find out what you did today.

Free to Be a Family was designed to address this important idea. As a new and loving step-mom, I wanted to rewrite the myth of the evil stepmother that abounds in children's literature. With so many kids living with step-parents, something had to be done about that! So in one story, we took one of the worst step-moms in kids’ lit—the wicked stepmother from Cinderella—and turned her into a loving, supporting mom who helped the fairy godmother get Cinderella ready for the ball.

It was fun for us to turn these preconceived notions of family on their ear while shedding new light on the joys and triumphs of all kinds of families—families that were so different from the Dick and Jane stories of our childhood. Children were relieved and reassured to discover that their own families were just as “normal” as the rest. This was what made Free to Be a Family such a success and, I think, why it remains so important for kids today.

CHRIS: Just like Free to Be…You and Me, the Free to Be a Family project came about as an answer to a specific social problem.

Early in the project, Marlo got together with the writer Letty Pogrebin, and they contacted the Carnegie Corporation, which at the time was exploring how media could be a powerful tool in dispelling social stereotypes. Carnegie had been lending a hand with the Free to Be Foundation, and was also a seminal force in the founding of Sesame Street, where I’d been working as a writer, composer and producer since the program’s first broadcast season in 1969-70.

At the same time that Marlo and Letty were talking to Carnegie, I happened to meet a woman named Darcy Gilpin, the Director of the Free to Be Foundation. Darcy was aware of my work at Sesame Street, and asked if I’d be interested in helping with the Free to Be a Family project.

I immediately said yes. I’d met Marlo Thomas only once before, at an event where I presented her with an award for Free to Be…You and Me. I remember at the time being honored to be invited to the event—and jealous of Free to Be!

”Gee, I wish they’d asked me to work on that!” I’d thought, never dreaming that, some 15 years later, I’d get just such an opportunity.

Within weeks of meeting Darcy, I’d become part of the Free to Be a Family team, and before long we were actively putting the project together. We decided that we’d go after the same people who contributed to the first book and record, as well as some other writers and musicians and children’s entertainment people I knew. Just like the original team did the first time around, we’d create a book, a record and TV show.

With the help of the Carnegie people, we defined the project’s goals and central themes, all of which came down to one basic idea—that no matter what kind of family you came from, yours is just as good. All families are okay.

From this main idea, we decided we could also explore related topics, such as sibling rivalry, the death of a parent, divorce and remarriage, and adoption.

In fact, one of the highlights of Free to Be a Family is a mini-comic book—a series of cartoon panels—about Superboy, and how he was adopted. We pitched the idea to the people at DC Comics, who not only thought it was great, but even asked Joe Orlando, Superboy’s illustrator, to draw it for us. In the story, which was written by my Sesame Street colleague, Mark Saltzman, Superboy’s parents tell him he was adopted, and he throws a super fit.

When it was completed, our Superboy tale became a particular favorite of mine, in that it so imaginatively juxtaposed comic-book invincibility with real life emotional vulnerability. More important, it cleverly illustrated how love is love, no matter what your bloodline.

When it came time to make the record album, Marlo’s friends Mike Nichols and Elaine May—who hadn’t worked together as a comedy team in years—reunited to play Superboy’s parents, Ma and Pa Kent, with Christopher Reeve playing Superboy. And to explore the important topic of adoption, we had Superboy and his parents appear on Donahue talk show as a real adoptive family. As you know, Phil Donahue is married to Marlo, so naturally he played himself on the album—which was so much fun. The piece sounds as fresh, funny, and relevant today as it did when we first recorded it back in 1987.

In each of its various incarnations, Free to Be a Family provided me with some particularly satisfying personal moments. When we were putting the book together, for example, Jeff Moss, the head writer of Sesame Street and a dear friend, told me he’d always wanted to write children’s poems—so we gave him a shot. He ended up writing a piece for the book called “The Entertainer,” a poem about a kid who was always forced to perform at social gatherings. Our publisher, Bantam Books, loved it so much that after Free to Be a Family was published, they began regularly publishing poetry books by Jeff. Several of them were bestsellers.

Meanwhile, when we recorded the album (which was released on the A&M label), I found myself working among personal heroes of mine—from Bonnie Raitt and Mel Brooks, to producer David Anderle (for me, that was like working with a god!) and Soul Asylum. At one point we even went to Jamaica to record Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers, who sang and played the record’s theme song for us. That was a special thrill. Another wonderful moment during the making of the record was Robin Williams’ recording session for a story called, “The Day Dad Made Toast,” written by Sarah Durkee. The story was about a father who volunteers to do all the work around the house, but winds up doing nothing. (At one point, the mom is dragging a freezer up the stairs from the basement, while Dad’s in the kitchen still figuring out how to work the toaster). Robin was just supposed to play the father, but during his first read-through he asked, “Can I play the mother, too?” We said sure.

Then Robin said, “Can I play the kids?” Yes again.

“How about the sound effects?” asked Robin a few seconds later. “Why not?” we said. In the end, Robin did everything—from all the character voices to the sounds of a vacuum cleaner. It remains a tour-de-force and was incredibly fun to watch. And, by the way, he did it all in one take!

As for the Free to Be a Family television special, it was out of this world—literally. Unlike the TV version of Free to Be…You and Me, we didn’t focus solely on translating stories from the book and record onto the TV screen. Instead, we created a satellite bridge between kids from the United States and children from the Soviet Union. It was the first time an American network—ABC-TV—had produced a prime time show in partnership with Soviet Television.

As official “space pen-pals,” the kids embarked on a six-month project in which they communicated with each other via satellite linkup. Five thousand miles apart, Marlo and a Russian television star guided the children through a variety of activities, such as dual-language lessons, letter-writing, photographing themselves to send to each other, and sharing their favorite things—from music tapes, to gum and candy, to books and toys. The kids even practiced singing the same song in Russian and English, which culminated in a glorious chorale finale to the program—all done via the satellite link-up. The idea was to let the kids reveal to one another all the things that made up their lives, and, ultimately, to discover how people who appeared so different are actually so much the same.

The endeavor was a smashing success, and we captured each phase of it on documentary footage, which we included in the TV special.

Looking back, we couldn’t have asked for a better reception to the entire Free to Be a Family project. The book was on everyone’s bestseller list (including number one on the New York Times’ list); the album was a giant hit; and the TV show went on to win an Emmy Award for Best Special of the Year.

But most important, Free to Be a Family worked. It was among the first of its kind to recognize the beautiful diversity of families around the world, and, to my mind, helped propel what would eventually become a significant shift in our cultural landscape. For any further information, please feel free to contact us.